The Top 9 Advantages
of Owning a Lethal Pet

9> Snarling pit bull on the porch means fewer trick-or-treaters and more candy for you.

8> Funny, you never realized how sweet and polite the Hell’s Angels next door were — until you got “Spitty” the cobra.

7> The mailman gives YOU a $20 tip at Christmas for keeping Killer on a short leash.

6> Saves you thousands of dollars each year on all your contract hits.

5> Kids don’t cut through your yard when your mountain lion is tethered outside.

4> The dog ate your homework? Dude, he ate your TEACHER!

3> Nobody wants “bled to death after rabid goldfish bite” on their autopsy report.

2> Nothing says “I think we should see other people” like an electric eel in the bubble bath!

and the Number 1 Advantage of Owning a Lethal Pet…

1> Keeps the postman from delivering that letter with the anthrax in it.

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Credits:

Selected from 43 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today’s Top5 Pets List authors are:

Greg Pearson, Arlington, VA — 1 (Good boy! 1st #1)
Chuck Schultz, Eastaboga, AL — 1 (2nd #1)
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ — 2
Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA — 2
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 2
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI — 3
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA — 4
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA — 5, 7, 9 (Purr-fecta!)
Brian E. Foster, Fairfax, VA — 6
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 8, Topic, RU List Name
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — Topic, Banner tag
Bill Strider, Gaithersburg, MD — Topic
Sandra Hull, Arlington VA — List Vet