Lists for 2003:
- Differences If God Were a Dog
- Dishes Served at the All-Pet Ecumenical Holiday Party
- Ways Your Pet Prepares for Winter
- World Records Our Pets Could Break
- Street Names for Catnip
- Features of a $70,000 Dog
- Names in the Pet Rogues’ Gallery
- Bad Pet Care Lessons Learned From Movies
- Slogans to Promote Dog Consumption
- Hymns to Sing at a Pet Funeral
- Stupid Gator Hunting Tips
- Signs Your Pet Is Really an Elephant
- Bands Appearing at Petstock ‘03
- Courses at Monkey College
- Dog Tricks We’d Like to See
- Reasons Your Cat Constantly Sticks Its Butt in Your Face
- Favorite Horror Movies of Pets
- Signs the Kitty Litter Needs Changing
- Other Ways to Prevent Your Pet From Breeding
- Items on the Itinerary of a Bear on the Town
- “Doga” Poses
- Signs You Hired Defective Bomb-Sniffing Dogs
- Signs You’re Not Cut Out to Be a Veterinarian
- Songs Performed at a Dog Wedding
- Reasons Your Ferret Is Not Perky Today
- Differences If Shakespeare Had Been a Cat
- Menu Items at a Dog Restaurant
- Ways to Keep Cats From Clawing
- Benefits of Annoying Pet Behaviors
- Signs Your Pet Is Mad at You
- Signs Your Pet Is a Reincarnated Relative
- Phrases You Should Never Teach Your Parrot
- Signs Your Pet Has Undergone Plastic Surgery
- Self-Help Books for Pets
- Items in Your Pet’s Red Alert Stash
- Chapters in “Pit Bulls for Dummies”
- Canine Bumper Stickers
- Barnyard Haikus
- Reality TV Series for Animals
- Drawbacks of Having a Goldfish
- Reasons the Rat Olympics Are Better Than the Human Olympics
- Differences if the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Were Run Like American Idol
- Uses for Regurgitated Hairballs
- Modern-Day Dog Disorders
- Signs Your Chimp Is Having a Mid-Life Crisis
- Consequences of Breastfeeding Puppies
- New Year’s Resolutions of Pets
