February 8, 2010
six-chicken limit per household. We can’t help
but wonder what prompted such a measure.
Community Has Too Many Chickens
9> Crosswalk signs are changed to read: “Walk,” “Wait,” and
“Why?”
8> Wearers of down jackets constantly harassed by poultry
protesters wielding buckets of red paint.
7> Lately you’ve found yourself walking on eggs. Literally.
6> The local gangsta rappers can’t seem to go more than a few
lines without saying “feather-plucker.”
5> The “which came first” debate paralyzes city council for
months.
4> What started out as a friendly neighborhood poultry singles
bar has turned into a total meat market.
3> Cockfighting has been re-classified as a Domestic Disturbance.
2> Falling-sky advocates now outnumber wolf-criers.
Selected from 63 submissions from 23 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1 (33rd #1)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 2, 4
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA — 3, 7
Scott Kossack, Springfield, VA — 5
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 6
Rose Rieur, Avon, CT — 8
Scott Daniels, Wadsworth, OH — 9, Topic
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA — List Vet
(Marlene K. Goodman, Wheeling, IL)
(Kim Stewart, Dunedin, New Zealand)
Crosswalk lights are overloaded from the constant back-and-forth.
(Lisa Baucom, Charlotte, NC)
Every price tag has two numbers: Price in dollars, price in eggs.
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
Everyone does the “People Dance” at wedding receptions.
(Dan “MRN” Wolfe, Granby, CT)
Feather-filled pillows and duvets? Not in your neighbourhood.
(Kim Stewart, Dunedin, New Zealand)
Gone is the respectful “Excuse me, Sir?” Now everywhere you turn
it’s “Boy… I say BOY!”
(Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH)
Not only is there a chicken in every pot, there’s one in every
pan, bowl, dish, cupboard, cabinet and glove box.
(Judy Kiel, Salt Lake City, UT)
Runners Up list name
(Sharon Emmerichs, Columbia, MO)