August 31, 2010     

May the furs be with you.

NOTE FROM THE LIST VET

An animal rescue group we know of is hoping
to acquire a former auto dealership to turn
into an animal shelter and education center.
Sounds like a great use of space that would
otherwise remain boarded up, but we wonder
if they will be able to totally eradicate
the essence of the previous occupant.

The Top 9 Signs an Animal
Shelter Is a Former Car Dealership

9> Can’t tell the difference. The butt-sniffing remains about the
same.

8> When you ask if an animal is in good shape, they offer to put
it up on jacks and let you take a look for yourself.

7> Cats actually enthusiastic about greeting visitors.

6> Since when has the most important difference between Great
Danes and Chocolate Labs been the number of cup holders?

5> “You want both Dalmatians, and with current vaccinations? Hold
on, I’ll need to ask my manager.”

4> When you hesitate on an adoption, they ask if you want to take
the dog for a test walk.

3> The “Leash-to-Own” finance option.

2> Your new dog’s license tag is in a frame with the shelter’s
name in raised letters.

and the Number 1 Sign an Animal Shelter Is a Former Car Dealership…

1> When you ask the adoption fee they quietly slide a little
piece of paper toward you across the counter.

.

Credits:

Selected from 35 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Emily Fortner, Huntsville, AL — 1 (Good girl! 1st #1)
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 2, 3
Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 4
Bruce Wollen, Rowley, MA — 5
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 6
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 7
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 8
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 9
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA — List Vet

RUNNERS UP list — Unsafe at Any Spayed

9:00 a.m.: Balloons floating outside, banners in window announcing
sale. 9:02 a.m.: Strings holding balloons knotted, balloons
popped, banners shredded.
     (Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)

Each adoption comes with a fresh wash and grooming.
     (Lisa Baucom, Charlotte, NC)

Months after the adoption, you are notified that your cat has been
recalled due to a defective givadammer.
     (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

The kennel in actually a line of used cars with the windows open a
crack.
     (Andrea Kelly, Brookeville, MD)

The spaying fee is financed through GMAC.
     (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)

They assure you the dog’s former owner only walked him on Sundays.
     (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)

“What do I have to do to put you in this Rottweiler today?”
     (Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)