September 25, 2002     

The Top 10 Ways MTV Executives
Justify Still Calling It “Music” TV

10> “Music TV” still more accurate than calling it “Educational
TV” or “Quality TV.”

9> Whaddaya call that stuff playing during the 47 minutes of
commercials, zit-boy?

8> Execs whistle a happy tune all the way to the bank.

7> We would call it the Materialism, Promiscuity and Bleeped-Out
Obscenities for Pre-Teens Channel, but MPBOOFPTC won’t fit in
the TV Guide grid.

6> Planning special “Bean Eating” episode of “Jackass.”

5> You have to remember, these are the same guys who are totally
comfortable claiming that they’re teenage girls in Internet
chat rooms.

4> How dare you ask such an unpatriotic question?? If we change
it, then the terrorists will have won!!

3> At least we have more music than Fox News has foxes. Or news.

2> Hey, if Michael Jackson can still call himself “black”….

and the Number 1 Way MTV Executives Justify Still Calling It
“Music” TV…

1> The sound of 12-year-old girls screaming about a boy group
that was just formed a week ago by a billionaire? Music to
*our* ears.

.

Credits:

Selected from 41 submissions from 17 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 1, 7 (5th #1!)
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 2, 6 (Rookie!)
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 3, 9
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA — 3
Dave Berman, Berkeley, CA — 4
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 4
Thea VanHalsema, Grand Rapids, MI — 5
Nancy Vaine, Fairfield, CT — 8, RU list name
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 10
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — Topic
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Banner tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro