March 16, 2005     

NOTE FROM JEFF:

Michael Jackson’s defense team released
a list of potential witnesses for their
side a few weeks ago, and it’s quite the
star-studded list. Some are no-brainers,
like Liz Taylor; some, like Kobe Bryant,
were surprised to hear they’d been
listed as friends at all.
What might they say on the stand…?

The Top 8 Tidbits of Testimony From
Michael Jackson’s Character Witnesses

8> Elizabeth Taylor: “I swear on my marriage that Michael is
innocent!”

7> Marilyn Manson: “Michael always seemed perfectly normal to
me.”

6> Hunter S. Thompson: “I need another six-month journalistic
stint at a kangaroo court like I need a hole in my head!”

5> Emmanuel Lewis: “With confirmation of the wire transfer, I
may categorically state that Mr. Jackson never molested me,
as far as you know.”

4> O.J. Simpson: “We were playing golf with Robert Blake at the
time.”

3> Corey Feldman: “Really? I got called for something? Really?”

2> Quincy Jones: “You know, for a white guy, he has an excellent
sense of rhythm.”

and the Number 1 Tidbit of Testimony From Michael Jackson’s
Character Witnesses…

1> Glinda the Good Witch of the North: “Michael has had the
power to make this go away the whole time.”

.

Credits:

Selected from 30 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1, 7 (20th #1!)
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA — 2
Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 3
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 4
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — 5, Banner tag
Andy Grosser, Boston, MA — 6
Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN — 8
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Topic
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro