February 15, 2006     

Plants and birds and rocks and things sold separately.

NOTE FROM JEFF:

And now, for the flip-side of our list
of two weeks ago…

The Top 8 Things
Overheard in Rock ‘n’ Roll Hell

8> “Oh, don’t bother turning the dial. *Every* radio station
plays all polka, all the time — and every station’s DJ is
Rick Dees.”

7> “Oh, look, the Simpson girl is lip-synching her gnashing of
teeth.”

6> “Well, I guess maybe I *should* have feared the Reaper.”

5> “No, no, you want Country & Western Hell, two pits down on
your left. That pedal steel you hear is just part of our
punishment.”

4> “No, we only get Ringo.”

3> Karen Carpenter: “Does this pitchfork make my ass look big?”

2> “*You* worked at a record label, too?”

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard in Rock ‘n’ Roll Hell…

1> “Welcome, Mr. Ramone! Here’s your sheet music for Yes’s
‘Tales from Topographic Oceans.’ Your performance begins in
20 minutes.”

.

Credits:

Selected from 59 submissions from 20 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

David Toth, Milwaukee, WI — 1, 8 (9th #1!)
Nancy Vaine, Fairfield, CT — 2
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 3
Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE — 4
Guy Payne, Leeds, AL — 5
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 6, Banner tag
Shawn McWhorter, St. Paul, MN — 7
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 8
Gary Reynolds, Indianapolis, IN — Topic
Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX — Topic
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Topic
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro

RUNNERS UP list — Rock ‘n’ Droll

“What?! Keith got another extension in his contract?!”

(Shawn McWhorter, St. Paul, MN)

(Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX)

(Nancy Vaine, Fairfield, CT)

(Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)

(Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA)

“Okay, everyone, get your panpipes ready. One, two — one, two,
three, four!”

(G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa)

“So yeah, I got a part-time job down here backward-masking satanic
messages onto albums. How about you?”

(Pete Marinucci, Astoria, NY)

“Did you see the jukebox? It’s all William Hung, Kelly Osbourne
and Captain & Tennille.”

(Pete Marinucci, Astoria, NY)

“What? Bats are really angels?! Oh, man, is Ozzy in for a rude
surprise.”

(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

“You know, you’d think that after a few centuries, the constant
playing of ‘My Heart Will Go On’ wouldn’t get to you anymore, but
you’d be wrong.”

(Dustin Moskowitz, Skillman, NJ)

“I’ve never seen so many opening acts in one place in my entire
life.”

(Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR)

“Yes, I saw all your album covers and the thing you used to do
with your two fingers. Get back in line.”

(Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL)

Runners Up list name

(G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa)