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August 1, 2001
Backstage at an *N SYNC Concert
10> “Record sales are slumping. Lance, I want you to start
hitting the bottle.”
9> “Dammit! Those Backstreet jerks had three dozen pizzas
delivered AGAIN!”
8> “Shaving twice a week now. You?”
7> “Beer man! We’ll take… hey, didn’t you used to be in
Menudo?”
6> “Who wants to bet a stupid haircut on whether or not
Christina Aguilera ends up in Playboy?”
5> “No, no, no. Listen, I’ll go over it once more, and please
pay attention this time: When we’re the Backstreet Boys, you
put the fake tattoo on the right arm and wear black pants.
Tonight the fake tattoo goes on the *left* arm and we wear
*blue* pants. Got it?”
4> “Renouncing the ABM treaty is only going to spur China into
increasing the size of their small nuclear arsenal, fueling
an arms race on the subcontinent between China’s natural
rivals, India and Pakistan, and that will just serve to
destabilize UN anti-proliferation efforts…”
3> “I’m not the fat one! YOU’RE the fat one! I’m the CUTE
one!!”
2> “Mommy, can you help me tie my shoes? I have to go on stage
in a minute!”
Concert…
(KA-POW!!)
“Christina? Christina??”
“Britney, Officer Johnson. Officer Johnson, Britney.”
Selected from 32 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — 1 (1st #1!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 2, 4
Colin Ritchie, San Diego, CA — 3
Bill Ervin, Tigard, OR — 5 (Rookie!)
John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI — 6
Jonathan P. Bernick, Conway, SC — 7 (Rookie!)
Andy Grosser, San Francisco, CA — 8
Whit Watson, West Hartford, CT — 9
Lissa Loadholt, Charlotte, NC — 10 (Rookie!)
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Topic, Banner Tag
Bill Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — RU list name
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro