October 10, 2007     

We’re classically trained.

NOTE FROM ANDY:

What if His Ludwigness were living today,
in a world of music videos, iPods, dozens
of genres, and the like? What would he
do, think, say, compose, et cetera?

The Top 6 Things Beethoven
Would Do If He Were Alive Today

6> Claw desperately at the inside of his coffin.

5> “I would like to see these deaf leopards I’ve heard so much
about.”

4> “Yeeeeaaah boyyyeee! B-Toe’s in the hizz-ouse!”

3> “I remember when MTV used to play music videos.”

2> “It’s called ‘Eroica.’ No, I didn’t leave out the ‘T!’”

and the Number 1 Thing Beethoven Would Do If He Were Alive Today…

1> Tell Schroeder to man-up and tap that willing Lucy’s ass.

.

Credits:

Selected from 28 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 1 (2nd #1!)
Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX — 2, 4
Paul L. Gaba, Village of Wellington, FL — 3
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 5
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — 6
Andy Grosser, Somerville, MA — Topic
Andy Grosser, Somerville, MA — Banner tag, Maestro

RUNNERS UP list — Classikill

Download those pictures of Britney’s cooter, just like everybody
else.

(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)

Get together with Tom Petty, Bob Dylan and Jeff Lynne. Release an
album and go on tour.

(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)

“Mozart? All that mother-f***er ever did was sample my songs and
put a few extra violas in it. I oughta bust a cap in his ass.”

(David Toth, Milwaukee, WI)

Say what?

(Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

Support the troops.

(Stephen Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)

Wish he wasn’t named after a friggin’ St. Bernard.

(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)

Runners Up list name

(Amy Lane, Waterboro, ME)