February 14, 2007     

Friends don’t let friends play “Melancholy Baby.”

The Top 9 Surprises in
David Crosby’s New Memoir

9> The Byrds’ original name was “Tippi Hedren Must Die.”

8> There’s nothing like a stint in prison to turn you off of that
whole “free love” thing.

7> He and Roger McGuinn captured the Men’s Doubles Title at
Wimbledon in 1965, when Crosby weighed a slim 145 pounds.

6> He shot the last guy who asked, “Are you related to Bing?”

5> “Neil worships my man-boobs.”

4> Contrary to popular belief, Crosby was sober for an entire
three-day period in 1989.

3> “Eight Miles High” was the only song on the album *not* about
drugs.

2> In addition to a discography and bibliography, the appendix
contains his Medicare Part D application.

and the Number 1 Surprise in David Crosby’s New Memoir…

1> He agreed to father Melissa Etheridge’s child in exchange for
its liver.

.

Credits:

Selected from 47 submissions from 19 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 1 (2nd #1!)
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 2
Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX — 3
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA — 4, Banner tag
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — 5, 9
Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 6
Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA — 7
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 8
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA — Topic
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro

RUNNERS UP list — Early Byrd Specials

In high school, was voted “Most Likely to Father the Child of a
Lesbian Couple.”

(Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR)

Neil Young used to annoy everybody in rehearsals by listening to
“Sweet Home Alabama” over and over.

(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)

He calls his moustache Pierre.

(Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR)

First illegitimate child grew up to be that creepy Burger King
guy.

(Rabbi Crut, McComb, OH)

David was Melissa Etheridge’s first choice for her sperm donor,
after Keith Richards, Steven Tyler, Billy Idol, Joe Cocker, Elvis
Costello, several Van Zandts, Norman Greenbaum, Syd Barrett, Pearl
Jam’s sound guy, and Billy Gibbons turned out to be unavailable.

(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)

The moustache? It’s all a part of the comb-over.

(Tina Danecke, Edmonton, AB)

Moonlights as a sumo wrestler for the Japanese reality television
show “Fu Manch & You.”

(Paul L. Gaba, Village of Wellington, FL)

Bing used to beat the hell out of him.

(Stephen Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)

Sweet Judy? Blew guys.

(Matt Kall, Solon, OH)

Stephen Stills constantly “loves the one he’s with” when he’s
alone.

(Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX)

Runners Up list name

(Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA)