May 11, 2005     

The Top 8 Surprises
During Britney Spears’ Pregnancy

8> Recordings of Britney’s morning sickness outsell Ashlee
Simpson’s latest album.

7> Wait a minute… you mean she’s *not* a virgin?!?

6> Madonna is the father.

5> When the child is born, he looks just like the father –
horns, cloven hoves, pointy tail and all.

4> Ultrasounds show a profile strangely similar to that of Lance
Bass.

3> She’s borrowed Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl tear-away corset for
more convenient breast-feeding.

2> History repeats itself when Brit goes from “barely showing”
to “fully popped” overnight — but this time it’s her tummy.

and the Number 1 Surprise During Britney Spears’ Pregnancy…

1> Christina Aguilera announces that she, too is pregnant, but
in a much sluttier way.

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Credits:

Selected from 32 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 1 (9th #1!)
Jane McCabe, Laguna Hills, CA — 2
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa — 2
Tina Danecke, Ottawa, ON — 3, 7
Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 4, 7, 8 (Hat trick!)
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 5
Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN — 6
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Topic, Banner tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro