Previous list: 
March 19, 2008
the Eliot Spitzer Scandal
8> “Mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice
And she said,
‘We are all just working girls here, $4k is just nice.’
Welcome to the Hotel Maaaay-flower!”
7> “25 or 6 to 10″
6> “She got $5500 to make you holler
You got nailed for doin’ the Wild Thing!”
5> “You screw like G.O.P.?
Yeah, you know me!
You screw like G.O.P?
Every girl I see!”
4> “If you’re blue and you don’t know
Where to ho’ to why don’t you blow
Where power sits: Puffin’ of the Spitz!”
3> “I would pay five thousand dollars
And I would pay five thousand more!”
2> “You can tell by the way I use my post
I’m a woman’s man, I love the most.
Music loud and women warm,
I’ve been into it since I was born.
And now it’s alright,
It’s OK.
You can’t look the other way.
We can try to understand,
The New York Gov’s effect on man,
Whether you’re a Clinton
Whatever you’ve been hintin’
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
Loyalties alignin’, he’s got to be resignin’
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.”
I paid for her sex in the usual way,
But there were wiretaps,
As girls I’d lay
Her MySpace page got lots of hits per day.
And she was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it,
A scandal grew.
She’d say ‘I’m just 22,’ man, You know I’m only 22.
Democrats in a scandal
With a silver spoon,
Little girl blew
On the man in the room.
When you coming, Gov’nor?
I don’t know when,
But we’re going to have a good time then.”
Selected from 26 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 1, 2 (8th #1!)
Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX — 3
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 4
Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN — 5, 7
David Toth, Milwaukee, WI — 6
Paul L. Gaba, Village of Wellington, FL — 8
Amy Lane, Waterboro, ME — Banner tag
Andy Grosser, Somerville, MA — Maestro, Topic
Ahhh
Ahhh
Ahhh
Shake it up baby, now
Kristen shout!”
(Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX)
“Daddy’s Got an Indictment”
(Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN)
“Money for Something”
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
“Silda, my dear,
How I spend my days in meek prostration,
Please, do forgive me,
Silda, my dear.”
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
“Start spreading your legs.
I’m paying four grand.
Aren’t you the new girl who works here?
New Pork, New Pork.”
(Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS)
“There’s a governor who’s sure
,
Hypocrisy’s in vogue,
And he’s buying a ho known as Kristen.
There’s a sign on the wall,
But he wants to be sure.
He was busted by laws since 9-11.”
(Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA)
“You put your wiener in,
You pull your wiener out,
You put your wiener in and you shake it all about…”
(Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS)
Runners Up List Name
(Amy Lane, Waterboro, ME)