October 10, 2001     

The Top 8 Signs
You’re Dating a Folk Singer

8> She just loves it when you run your fingers through her chest
hair.

7> Inscription on his banjo: “This machine shamelessly copies
every riff Pete Seeger ever played.”

6> You ask whether she’s ever going to give you oral sex, and she
says the answer is blowing in the wind.

5> It’s real nice that he’s handy, but he’s driving you batty
with his incessant hammering.

4> You go through all the trouble of cracking her corn, but she
don’t care.

3> His answering machine message is a seven-minute ballad about a
boat sinking.

2> “Yes sir, we have your reservations. Table for two for
Abraham, Martin, and John. Right this way.”

and the Number 1 Sign You’re Dating a Folk Singer…

1> He introduces you to “Little Arlo.”

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Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 1 (4th #1!)
Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX — 2, 3
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 4, 6
Lil Owens, Lorain, OH — 5
Jonathan P. Bernick, Conway, SC — 7, RU list name
Matt Kall, Cleveland Heights, OH — 8
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Topic
Lissa Loadholt, Charlotte, NC — Banner Tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro