May 7, 2003     

The Top 9 Signs
You’re Dating a Drummer

9> He hyperventilates when anyone mentions the name “Ringo.”

8> Beavers in the pond next door are jealous of your massive
in-house wood chip piles from cases of shredded drumsticks.

7> You’re thinking about replacing him… with a machine.

6> Your head actually bangs into the headboard in tempo.

5> He refers to sex as “hitting the skins.”

4> Spins the tongs over his head and shouts, “Yeeeaahhhhhh!”
before he tosses the salad.

3> Sex is always frustrating, because although he has excellent
rhythm, he never knows when to make his entrance.

2> It’s one thing to drum on the table with chopsticks. It’s
another thing to use two tables, seventeen glasses, three
buckets and the waiter’s tray, then throw the chopsticks to
the people waiting to be seated and yell, “THANK YOU,
DETROIT!”

and the Number 1 Sign You’re Dating a Drummer…

1> “I SAID, ‘I THINK I LOVE YOU!’”

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Credits:

Selected from 28 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Whit Watson, West Hartford, CT — 1 (10th #1!)
Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY — 2
Thea VanHalsema, Grand Rapids, MI — 2
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 3, 4, 9 (Hat trick!)
Jane McCabe, Laguna Hills, CA — 3, 7
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 5
Tina Danecke, Ottawa, Canada — 6
Terry Mingle, Cortland, NY — 8
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Topic, RU list name
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA — Banner Tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro