January 19, 2005     

The Top 9 Signs You’re About
to Get Kicked Out of Your Band

9> “You see Danny, as these adoption papers clearly show, you’re
not *really* a Partridge, so….”

8> The amps blew, the microphones aren’t hooked up to the mixer,
the studio booth lights are out and you just made the
mistake of asking, “What else isn’t working around here
anymore?”

7> Your bandmates firmly suggest that a dangerous addiction to
heroin might help your lackluster songwriting.

6> You used to be the hardest working member of the band. Now,
all of a sudden, none of the songs they write have *any*
cowbell.

5> Jann Wenner just called to ask, “So, when IS your last show?”

4> The manager keeps trying to convince you that the band
changed its name to “Greyhound.”

3> Sammy Hagar has been hanging around an awful lot.

2> The band has recently changed its name from “Ben & the
Cringe” to “The Cringe: Now Without Ben’s Bloody, Dismembered
Corpse.”
You? Ben.

and the Number 1 Sign You’re About to Get Kicked Out of Your
Band…

1> The other guys all start dating Japanese performance artists.

.

Credits:

Selected from 56 submissions from 19 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1 (19th #1!)
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — 2, 7, Banner tag
Tina Danecke, Ottawa, ON — 2
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS — 3
Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 4
Terry Mingle, Cortland, NY — 5
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — 5, Banner tag
Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE — 6
Shawn McWhorter, St. Paul, MN — 8
Bill Ervin, Tigard, OR — 9
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — RU list name
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro