October 15, 2003     

The Top 8 Signs Your
Wife/Girlfriend Used to Be a Groupie

8> Two hours before you get home, she starts hanging around the
back door.

7> Refers to Pamela Des Barres as “a rank amateur.”

6> Constantly muttering, “Banged him” whenever you surf by MTV.

5> Her picture is prominently displayed on the Frequent Buyers’
Hall of Fame wall in the Home Depot plaster department.

4> “I want a new bedpost for my birthday — this one has too
many notches.”

3> When you married her, you adopted her children Mick, Ozzy,
Keith and Lars.

2> Instead of walking down the aisle to Mendelssohn’s “Wedding
March,” she chooses “Plaster Caster,” by Kiss.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Wife/Girlfriend Used to Be a
Groupie…

1> She’s been banned from the exotic seafood restaurant ever
since that time a Led Zeppelin song on the Muzak triggered
what the police called a “graphic flashback incident.”

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Credits:

Selected from 33 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Lil Owens, Lorain, OH — 1, 5 (1st #1!
Woohoo!)
David Toth, Milwaukee, WI — 2, 4, RU name
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, South Africa — 3
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — 3 (Rookie!)
Will Middelaer, New Britain, CT — 6, 8
Linda Moskowitz, Montgomery, NJ — 7 (Rookie!)
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — Topic
Mark H. Anbinder, Ithaca, NY — Banner tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro