August 29, 2001     

The Top 8 Signs Your
Musical Won’t Make it to Broadway

8> Working title: “Danza!”

7> Just because singing cats worked for so long doesn’t mean
singing emus is a good idea.

6> “Star Wars: The Musical” seems like a guaranteed hit, but it
may have been a mistake to give Chewbacca the biggest singing
part.

5> Your cats really don’t like being on roller skates, they can’t
play a garbage can worth a lick, and not a one of ‘em knows
the words to “All I Ask Of You.”

4> Mayor Giuliani has made it clear he’s prepared to call out the
National Guard to prevent your musical version of “Throwing
Cow Dung at the Virgin Mary” from seeing the light of day.

3> Nathan Lane has bowed out because he signed on to play “Movie
Theatre Clerk #2″ on an upcoming episode of “Moesha.”

2> Instead of song, everyone keeps bursting into flames.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Musical Won’t Make it to Broadway…

1> After you cast Rosie O’Donnell as the female lead, she eats
the chorus.

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Credits:

Selected from 25 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jonathan P. Bernick, Conway, SC — 1 (1st #1!)
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 2
Andy Grosser, San Francisco, CA — 3
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 4
Whit Watson, West Hartford, CT — 5, 8
Michael Scott Shappe, Richfield, MN — 6, 7
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Topic
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA — Banner Tag
Matt Kall, Cleveland Heights, OH — RU list name
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro