April 4, 2001     

The Top 8 Signs Your Maestro is Nuts

8> An all-tuba orchestra, fine… but playing “The Flight of
the Bumblebee”?

7> Black tux? Check.
Hair like Einstein? Check.
Using a “Steely Dan” for his baton? Uh-oh.

6> After performing in Moscow last year, he won’t stop making
“Bach in the USSR” jokes.

5> He insists that, with enough practice, the orchestra can
perform the Minute Waltz in under 30 seconds.

4> Just in case he gets the munchies during a concert, he uses
Twizzlers for batons.

3> Constantly criticizes your triangle playing as “monotonous.”

2> Claims he knows where to get a “good deal” on 64th notes.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Maestro is Nuts…

1> Always asking himself, “What would Bugs Bunny do?”

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Credits:

Selected from 29 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 1, 8 (1st #1!)
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 2, Topic
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 3, 6, 7 (Hat trick!)
Brian Mingle, Cortland, NY — 4 (Rookie!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 5
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Banner Tag
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — RU list name
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro