March 6, 2002     

The Top 10 Signs Your Maestro Is
High on Post-Op Painkillers (Part II)

10> Throws out Beethoven’s original arangement in favor of the
Fatboy Slim remix.

9> He includes the same item twice in the Top5 Music list.

8> For the encore, he attempts the death-defying
baton-up-one-nostril-and-out-the-other trick.

7> “Okay gang, this week’s topic will be Top 5 Images Hidden on
the Cover of the Beatles’ White Album.”

6> Keeps trying to eat the notes off his score.

5> His repeated complaints that the dancing, cymbal-playing
monkeys keep missing their cues.

4> “I’ve removed the entire percussion section. All that loud
crashing is really harshing my buzz.”

3> Keith Richards politely suggests that maybe he should cut
down.

2> Doesn’t flinch when your 7 year-old squeaks through “Mary Had
a Little Lamb” on his violin, but take away his Doritos and
WATCH OUT, CHESTER!

and the Number 1 Sign Your Maestro Is High on Post-Op
Painkillers…

1> After your delicate flute solo, he holds up a lighter and
yells, “Freebird! Whoooooo!”

.

Credits:

Selected from 52 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY — 1 (2nd #1!)
David Toth, Charlottesville, VA — 2
Jonathan P. Bernick, Conway, SC — 3
Ken Snyder, St. Charles, MO — 4, 10
Thea VanHalsema, Grand Rapids, MI — 5
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 6
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 7
Dave Berman, San Francisco, CA — 8
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA — 9
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Topic, RU list name,
Banner tag
Christian Fras, MD, New York, NY — Arthroscopy
Kyle Lipton, MD, New York, NY — Anaesthesia
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro