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March 22, 2006
The Top 6 Signs Your iPod Hates You
6> When you went quail hunting with it, it shot you in the face
“by accident.”
5> Mysteriously changes to an “iPeed” and leaves an embarrassing
wet spot during your big presentation.
4> Every time you plug it in to your PC, it e-mails the FBI and
the RIAA, saying, “You pansies couldn’t catch a cold, much
less a major music pirate and child pornographer like myself.”
3> How did Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy even
*get* on your Contacts List?
2> You awake to the headphones slowly wrapping around your neck.
Selected from 65 submissions from 23 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:
Guy Payne, Leeds, AL — 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
Pete Marinucci, Astoria, NY — 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 2
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 3
Gary Reynolds, Indianapolis, IN — 4
Eric Landrieu, Burlington, NJ — 4
Brian Bell, Seattle, WA — 5
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA — 6
David Toth, Milwaukee, WI — 6
Matt Kall, Cleveland Heights, OH — Topic
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — Banner tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro
in the middle.
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)
Every time you set it on “shuffle,” it starts vibrating hard
enough to mix paint.
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)
Apparently that 16-hour battery life is for *other* people.
(Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX)
Dying batteries are a constant reminder that your life outside the
bedroom revolves around battery life too.
(Brian Bell, Seattle, WA)
It announces to the guys in the gym, “He’s listening to Air
Supply!”
(David Toth, Milwaukee, WI)
It talks to the computer, the dishwasher and the washing machine
when you’re not home, and those three are lying bastards.
(Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)
Runners Up list name
(Eric Landrieu, Burlington, NJ)