October 26, 2005     

The Top 8 Signs
Your Bandmate’s a Zombie

8> Insists there be only green corpses served as refreshments in
the dressing room.

7> On the way to a show, your car won’t start, so you leave him
and run all the way to the concert with your topless girfriend
who was taking a shower. And he’s still right behind you.

6> He’s obviously a bad fit: He’s not particularly “grateful.”

5> Groupies always leaves his room with glazed eyes, walking very
slowly and with their brains screwed out.

4> You tell him he needs to rehearse, and he goes cruising around
in a black car.

3> She smells a little bit worse than Courtney Love.

2> He wants to play a gig in Forest Lawn Cemetery as “a shout-out
to my homies.”

and the Number 1 Sign Your Bandmate’s a Zombie…

1> Only as he tosses his stick in the air during the drum solo do
you realize it’s his own femur.

.

Credits:

Selected from 25 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 4, 6 (11th #1,
Hat trick!)
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 1, 5 (3rd #1!)
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 2
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 3
Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN — 7
Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA — 8
Marty Cole, Fayetteville, NY — Topic
Bobby “Boris” Pickett, Los Angeles, CA — Banner tag
Matt Kall, Cleveland Heights, OH — Backup Singer