November 20, 2002     

NOTE FROM LITTLE FIVERS:

Atten-HUT! Top5 Military is now accepting enlistments for
our elite Contributor Corps. If you are now, have ever been or
fantasize about being in the military and can survive our
rugged Humor Boot Camp, we want you! Send your name, city
and state to top5military@topfive.com with ENLIST ME in the
subject line. As you were.

The Top 6 Rejected Titles for
Bruce Springsteen’s “The Rising”

6> Residuals Are Running Low

5> Gonna Beat These Three Chords to Death

4> The BEMHO (Basic Early Morning Hard-On)

3> Greetings from the Lounge of the Tropicana in Atlantic City,
N.J.

2> The Old, the Incontinent and the Metamucil Shuffle

and the Number 1 Rejected Title for Bruce Springsteen’s “The
Rising”…

1> Yes, I’ll Still Play “Born to F**cking Run” During the Encore

.

Credits:

Selected from 16 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Whit Watson, West Hartford, CT — 1, 4, 5 (6th #1! Hat trick!)
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 2, 3
Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY — 6, Banner tag
Jonathan P. Bernick, Conway, SC — RU list name
Michael Scott Shappe, Richfield, MN — Topic
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro