January 5, 2005     

NOTE FROM JEFF:

Bjorn Ulvaeus, formerly one-fourth of ABBA, has
said the band won’t reunite, despite occasionally
having been offered as much as a BILLION dollars
to do so. Why? Because, he says, it would probably
be disappointing for the fans.

The Top 7 Reasons We’re
Glad ABBA’s Not Reuniting

7> We wouldn’t want Ace of Base to get any ideas.

6> We won’t have to worry about Agnetha or Anni-Frid
falling off her platform shoes and breaking a hip.

5> As we should have learned from the 1970s, one pro basketball
league is enough.

4> Because the “Bjorn Again” tour name I just came up with is
embarrassing enough.

3> We’re too busy following the Foghat tour.

2> Bjorn’s former “bulge” has been replaced with a catheter and
leg bag.

and the Number 1 Reason We’re Glad ABBA’s Not Reuniting…

1> The billion dollars can be applied to something really
important — like trying to get Styx to break up again.

.

Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 1 (4th #1!)
Tina Danecke, Ottawa, ON — 2, 6
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 3
Dustin Moskowitz, Skillman, NJ — 4, 7
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa — 4, RU list name
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 5
Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY — 6
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 7
Barbara McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI — Topic
Matt Kall, Cleveland Heights, OH — Banner tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro