September 4, 2002     

The Top 9 Reasons
to Start a Garage Band

9> Finally learned that third chord.

8> After they rebuilt it the last time, your parents wouldn’t let
you start another garage research lab.

7> It’s only a one-car garage; no room for a garage symphony
orchestra.

6> Mom always wanted to me to go to Harvard, but since she chose
not to breastfeed me, here’s what she gets instead!

5> Two more Ramones, and there’s a open spot at the top.

4> Instead of having two lines in the obituaries, I want my picture
on *t-shirts* when I die of my heroin overdose.

3> It’d be a shame to let a great name like Johnny Rockstar go to
waste by choosing a career in Burger Flipping.

2> It’s one of the few remaining ways to piss off Mom since she
started smoking medical marijuana.

and the Number 1 Reason to Start a Garage Band…

1> Because the garage chess club isn’t getting you any chicks at
all.

.

Credits:

Selected from 32 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1 (8th #1!)
Dave Berman, Berkeley, CA — 2
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 3, 6
David Toth, Charlottesville, VA — 4
Jonathan P. Bernick, Conway, SC — 5, 9
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 7, 8
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — Topic
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA — RU list name
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Banner tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro