April 19, 2006     

Best when read in the jingle-jangle morning.

NOTE FROM JEFF:

It seems Tom Jones was just Knighted for his
musical contributions. He joins the likes of Sir
Paul McCartney, who has made music and shaped
music in three bands for over forty years; Sir
Elton John, who has had hits in four decades; Sir
Mick Jagger, who has been the leader of the
Stones for generations; and Sir Bob Geldolf, who
has tried several times to save the world…
But why Tom Jones? He had a few hits in the 1960s and
since then has mostly just been a Vegas footnote.

The Top 7 Real Reasons
Tom Jones Was Knighted

7> Sure beats Grace or Davy.

6> It’s the only way the Queen could get back the panties she
threw at him in 1967.

5> Closely-guarded royal secret: the Queen’s private nickname is
“Pussycat.”

4> It wasn’t for music, but for his recipe for Welsh Rarebit.

3> He certainly deserved *something* done to him with a sword
after his performance in “Mars Attacks.”

2> Had to do something to increase his marketability in Vegas,
and statistically, he’s just not that likely to be eaten by
a tiger.

and the Number 1 Real Reason Tom Jones Was Knighted…

1> It was the only way he’d promise not to perform “Sex Bomb”
ever, ever, EVER again.

.

Credits:

Selected from 45 submissions from 19 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 1, 6 (15th #1!)
Gary Reynolds, Indianapolis, IN — 2, 6
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 3, 6
David Toth, Milwaukee, WI — 4, 6
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 5, Banner tag
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 6, 7
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 6
Paul L. Gaba, Village of Wellington, FL — 7
Mike McClure, Clawson, MI — 7
Patricia Kellogg, Cleveland, OH — Topic
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro

RUNNERS UP list — It’s Not Unusual or Funny

It’s not unusual to be knighted by anyone.

(Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX)

(Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA)

(Patricia Kellogg, Cleveland, OH)

(Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA)

(Christopher Mercado, San Jose, CA)

To keep him from going public with his affair with Charles.

(Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR)

When the Queen asked for “a Welsh tart tonight,” her staff didn’t
realize she was asking for an evening pastry.

(Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA)

He had to be knighted before George Michael, to keep that whole
straight/gay ratio even.

(David Toth, Milwaukee, WI)

Runners Up list name

(David Toth, Milwaukee, WI)