July 6, 2005     

The Top 9
Provisions in Musicians’ Wills

9> Paul McCartney: I leave my middle finger to Michael Jackson.

8> Li’l Kim: Please bury me in the most tasteful and dignified
attire I own (the sequined black thong with matching
pasties).

7> Keith Richards: Don’t bury me too deep, I might just be
napping.

6> Eddie Van Halen: No green maggots!!

5> Karen Carpenter: I bequeath all my unused Sub Club cards and
stamps to my brother.

4> Madonna: Pick a card from the hat in my room to decide which
religion I am at the time of my memorial service.

3> Jerry Lee Lewis: I wish all personal property from my second
marriage be given to “Toys for Tots.”

2> Ray Parker Jr.: If my form should return to the material
world in spirit form, someone please appreciate the irony.

and the Number 1 Provision in a Musician’s Will…

1> Cher: To show my love of the Earth and its eco-system, please
take my body to a local recycling center, melt it down and
fashion it into commemorative keychains.

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Credits:

Selected from 25 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 1, 8, 9 (6th #1! Hat trick!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 2
Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN — 3, 5
David Toth, Milwaukee, WI — 4
Ellen Satter, Trumbull, CT — 6 (Rookie!)
Shawn McWhorter, St. Paul, MN — 7
Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 7
Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX — Topic
Andy Grosser, Boston, MA — Banner tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro