Previous list: 
October 25, 2006
(Part I)
8> Besides sexually, you mean? You could play a violin with it.
7> Load it with clarinet reeds and shoot them like tiny little
arrows at the brass section, or at the guy coughing in the
mezzanine.
6> Beat Jimmy Page to death with it for desecrating “Kashmir”
with P. Diddy.
5> Cheese slicer at the opera fundraiser, ’cause you know those
uptight wankers would just love that.
4> A straight razor for Tobey Maguire.
3> Poking out Charlie Daniels’s eyes.
2> Alex Rodriguez’s post-season bat.
Selected from 55 submissions from 20 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY — 1, 6 (6th #1!)
Paul L. Gaba, Village of Wellington, FL — 2
Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX — 3
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, New York — 4, 7
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 5
Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE — 7
Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX — 7
Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA — 7
David Toth, Milwaukee, WI — 7
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 7
Patricia Kellogg, Cleveland, OH — 7
Stephen Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 7, 8
Bill Martin, Los Angeles, CA — Topic
Brian Bell, Seattle, WA — Banner tag
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro
(Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)
(Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA)
(Braxton Williams, Wilmington, NC)
(Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX)
(Paul L. Gaba, Village of Wellington, FL)
Warm up the viola player by giving the g-string a few strokes with
it, if you know what I mean.
(David Toth, Milwaukee, WI)
Pot-deseeder.
(Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX)
Runners Up list name
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)