April 21, 2004     

The Top 10 Other Uses for a Tuba

10> Baseball bat durability testing.

9> So *that’s* where the WMDs have been hiding!

8> A band camp root beer bong.

7> Put it on George W. Bush’s head, put your ear to the
mouthpiece, and see if you can hear the actual moment the
hamster falls off the wheel.

6> Payback for your neighbor’s 7:00AM leaf blowing.

5> Housing for indigent dwarves.

4> Anna Nicole Smith’s breast pump.

3> Festive, discreet marijuana planter.

2> Train it to herd trumpets.

and the Number 1 Other Use for a Tuba…

1> Beat Ralph Nader over the head with it.

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Credits:

Selected from 44 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1 (16th #1!)
Marty Hale-Evans, Seattle, WA — 2
Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL — 3
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 4, 8
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 5, RU list name
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — 6, 8
Tina Danecke, Ottawa, ON — 7
Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA — 9
Matt Kall, Cleveland Heights, OH — 9, Banner tag
Terry Mingle, Cortland, NY — 10
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — Topic
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — Maestro