August 30, 2007     

Wang dang asshat!

NOTE FROM ANDY:

Ted Nugent sported two machine guns and vulgarly
insulted (some would say threatened) Barack Obama
and Hillary Clinton during a recent concert.

Top5 Music wanted to find out how other artists
would respond to this most genteel behavior.

The Top 7 Other Musicians’
Responses to Ted Nugent’s Belligerence

7> The Dixie Chicks: “Shut up, Ted. No one cares what musicians
think.”

6> Axl Rose: “What a Nazi!”

5> Britney Spears: Throw her panties at him. Oh, wait…

4> John Lennon: “Don’t knock it, Hillary. Happiness *is* a warm
gun.”

3> Iggy Pop: Smear feces on his torso and eat peanut butter. If
the Nuge doesn’t get it, that’s his problem.

2> Kurt Cobain: “Let me show you how to *really* fire a gun.”

and the Number 1 Other Musicians’ Response to Ted Nugent’s Belligerence…

1> John Cage: About four and a half minutes of stunned,
disbelieving silence.

.

Credits:

Selected from 21 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — 1 (2nd #1!)
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS — 2
Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN — 3
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 4, 7
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, New York — 5
Stephen Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 6
Andy Grosser, Somerville, MA — Topic
Amy Lane, Waterboro, ME — Banner tag
Andy Grosser, Somerville, MA — Maestro

RUNNERS UP list — Scoped Out

Elvis Presley: Just shoot him, thinking he was looking at the TV.

(Judith Cottrill, Bronx, New York)

Eminem: Call him a redneck idiot behind his back, then publicly
make amends with an on-stage duet at a NASCAR race.

(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)

Paul McCartney: Get him to shoot off *his* leg so Heather can’t
seek pity from the divorce arbitrator.

(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)

Phil Spector: Invite Ted to dinner at his mansion.

(Mike Davis, San Antonio, TX)

Sinead O’Connor: “There’s a time and place for personal politics,
and it’s not on stage.”

(Stephen Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO)