The Top 8 Ways
We’d Make Movies Cooler

8> All DVDs would include the porn knock-off version on the same disk.

7> Every once in a while, have the perky romantic heroine be devoured by the monster from “Alien” during the opening credits.

6> Lara Croft would only raid tombs naked.

5> Pamela Anderson sits next to you and explains the confusing parts.

4> Somebody should simply make a five minute movie: “Let’s Torture and Kill Ashton Kutcher.”

3> Chocolate-flavored previews.

2> Hire some of them there writers we’ve been hearin’ so much about.

and the Number 1 Way We’d Make Movies Cooler…

1> Duct tape patrol for people who won’t shut up in the theater.

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Credits:

Selected from 27 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jeff Rabinowitz, Denver, CO — 1, 5 (4th #1)
Jennifer Ford, Ft. Wayne, IN — 2, 3
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 2, 8
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 4
John English, Orem, UT — 6
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — List Daddy-o