NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

Well, the Walt Disney company is in turmoil.
Roy Disney, Jr. quit and is trying to wrest
Michael Eisner from the Chair, their films of
late have done poorly, there were takover rumors,
and now the Weinsteins of Miramax are threatening
to “do a Pixar” and take their films elsewhere…

The Top 8 Ways to Save Disney

8> Hit Scrooge McDuck up for a loan.

7> Fire up Walt’s head and put him back in charge.

6> Allow Goofy to choose which movies get greenlighted — it couldn’t get any worse.

5> Fire all the fondling Tiggers.

4> Lock Eisner in the “Small World” ride, brick over the entrance and broadcast it on Pay-Per-View.

3> Attract more adult admissions: “Drunken Coeds of the Carribean” and “Paris Hilton’s Wild Ride.”

2> Same way we’re saving Iraq: Bomb the crap out of them and then give them $10 billion to rebuild.

and the Number 1 Way to Save Disney…

1> Release those movies Jessica Rabbit did early in her career, when she really needed the money.

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Credits:

Selected from 49 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 1, 4, 6 (3-picture deal!)
John English, Orem, UT — 2, 4, 5 (3-picture deal!)
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 3
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — 4
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 7
William C. Martell, Studio City, CA — 7
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 7
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 8
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 8
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Editor with big ears