December 15th, 2006



NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:
As Roger Ebert is still recovering from
several cancer surgeries, we thought
we’d offer some holistic medicine…


The Top 8 Ways to
Make Roger Ebert Laugh


8> Tell him we need him to review “Dude, Where’s My Car? 2.”

7> Tell him Fox has a reality show where Rob Schneider, Martin Lawrence and Larry the Cable Guy fight to the death.

6> Hey, the old “penis in the popcorn” trick never gets stale.

5> Any reference to “Academy Award winner” Ben Affleck.

4> Show him clips of Roeper’s expression as Kevin Smith gushed over “Step Up.”

3> Travolta’s “Saturday Night Fever” suit that Siskel paid $30,000 for? Hong Kong knockoff.

2> Have Christopher Walken read his medical charts to him.

and the Number 1 Way to Make Roger Ebert Laugh…

1> Tell him the Library of Congress has placed “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls” on the National Film Registry.




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Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 1
John English, Orem, UT — 2, 7
Kris Johnson, Los Angeles, CA — 3
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 4, 8
Jennifer Ford, Chicago, IL — 4
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 5, 6
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — More of a Siskel