The Top 8 Ways to Get
Marlon Brando in Your Film

8> Girdles. Lots and lots of girdles.

7> Trail of Big Macs leading to the set, German sausages hung from the boom mikes.

6> Use only morbidly obese crew members, to make him look smaller.

5> Offer him $1 million for every minute he’s not a pain in the ass.

4> The whore… The whore…

3> Rewrite script to allow for “incoherent mumbling.”

2> Hire Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler and Angelina Jolie as his personal ass-kissers.

and the Number 1 Way to Get Marlon Brando in Your Film…

1> Send him the script stamped into slabs of chocolate.

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Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Beth Kujawski, Writer/Voice Talent — 1, 2, 5 (Hat trick!)
Luke Schollmeyer, Civilian — 3
Brian Klesc, Civilian — 4
Jeff Rabinowitz, Civilian — 6
Davejames, Civilian — 7
Jeff Wilson, Software Drone — 7
Eric Lipton, Civilian — 8
Kristian Idol, Writer/Director — Moderator