NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

After considering some 200 actors, and
two years of speculation by the media,
the producers of the next James Bond
film have finally chosen a new 007 –
blond Englishman Daniel Craig.

The Top 8 Ways to
Choose the Next James Bond

8> First, eliminate all the blond guys. Uh-oh.

7> Martini-chugging contest.

6> Make them earn it from Judi Dench in a “Bachelorette”-style reality show.

5> Lock the candidates in a room with Portia de Rossi, Jody Foster and Ellen DeGeneres. First one to score is our new Bond.

4> Hold a toga party, see who needs the biggest sheet, ifyouknowwhatimean.

3> Who cares? Just make sure his British accent is better than Madonna’s.

2> If anyone standing on a ladder reaches Sean Connery’s shoulders, he’s your man.

and the Number 1 Way to Choose the Next Bond…

1> See who can beat up Tom Cruise. Hire him on principle.

.

Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 1, 4, 7 (Three-picture deal!)
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 2, 8
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 3, 5
John English, Orem, UT — 6
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — List 005