NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

After losing her own reality show and other
work over her party-girl image, actress
Tara Reid has dropped her publicist and
asked the media to “stop picking on me.”

The Top 8 Ways Tara Reid Can
Get People to Take Her Seriously

8> Start sleeping with a higher class of director.

7> Turn down that gig for “Girls Gone Wild: Celebrity Party Sluts!!!”

6> Three letters, Whiney: B, R, A.

5> Get knocked up by your nutty, couch-jumping boyfriend.

4> No more keg stands at the Mensa parties.

3> Make sure *her* Internet-leaked sex video has better production values than all the others.

2> Every time she makes a decision, ask herself, “What would Meryl do?”

and the Number 1 Way Tara Reid Can Get People to Take Her
Seriously…

1> Get appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

.

Credits:

Selected from 24 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 1, 6
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 2, 5, 7, 8 (Blockbuster!)
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 3
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 4
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Didn’t Finish Finishing School