August 18th, 2006



The Top 9 Ways Mel Gibson
Can Repair His Public Image


9> Buy everyone in Israel a Vodka Gibson.

8> Thunderdome-like cage battle: Gibson vs. Streisand.

7> Well, he can start by shutting the hell up for more than five minutes at a time.

6> “To show that I respect men and women equally, I will now call all male cops ‘Honey Balls.’”

5> I tell ya what the Jews want: a flogging followed by dragging a cross across Wilshire.

4> Public circumcision without anesthesia.

3> Offer any Jewish person a 10% discount on all “Passion of the Christ” merchandise. After all, Jews just love a good deal.

2> Admit the factual error of his drunken statement: It’s actually the Christians who are responsible for most wars.

and the Number 1 Way Mel Gibson Can Repair His Public Image…

1> Just make another $400-million-grossing movie for us and all is forgiven, baby!




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Credits:

Selected from 29 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

John English, Orem, UT — 1
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 2, 4, 5 (Three-picture deal!)
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 3, 6
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 4, 8
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 4
Kris Johnson, Los Angeles, CA — 5
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 7
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Lethal Editor