NOTE FROM ERIC:

Last month, White House officials asked top
Hollywood stars and studio execs for help fighting
the war on terrorism. What did they decide upon?

The Top 9 Ways Hollywood
is Helping Fight Terrorism

9> “Hand over bin Laden or we’re going to start dropping copies of Freddy got Fingered.”

8> Sending in elite special operatives Bruce Villanche and Gilbert Gottfried.

7> The Coen Brothers newest satire, “O Sama, Where Art Thou?” delayed until 2003.

6> Instead of Demi Moore, romantic melodramas will all feature a weeping Dan Rather.

5> Traditional Hollywood “air kiss” greeting replaced with nasal swab Anthrax tests.

4> Got John Williams to license out that scary Darth Vader march for whenever the Taliban appear on TV.

3> Forget Humanitarian Aid drops, let’s have have Wolfgang Puck whip up something the refugees will be proud to eat!

2> “You know, khaki’s such a bland color for a uniform, have you considered powder blue?”

and the Number 1 Way Hollywood is Helping Fight Terrorism…

1> Start shooting big budget movies in Afghanistan. If that doesn’t corrupt the Taliban, nothing can.

.

Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Marko Peric, Prince Edward Island, Canada — 1, 9
Eric M. Wakeford, Niagara Falls, ON — 2, 8
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA — 3, 4, 8
Douglas Jones, Santa Cruz, CA — 4
Ian Ravdin, Chicago, IL — 5
Greg Preece, Toronto, ON — 6, 7
Eric F. Lipton, Washington, DC — Script Doctor