NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

David Hasselhoff has spent years trying to produce
a movie based on his hit TV show “Knight Rider,”
even lining up a studio and possibly Ben Affleck
as Michael Knight. But plans have been derailed
after the infamous “creative differences”
(apparently, the studio didn’t want
KITT the car to talk).

The Top 8 Ways David Hasselhoff
Can Get the “Knight Rider” Movie Made

8> Contractually agree not to sing the theme song himself.

7> Include an intense, smoky sex scene between KITT and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

6> Let Matt Damon play Knight, and Affleck the monotone car.

5> Contact the makers of “Gigli” — they’ll make anything just to have some other “last movie.”

4> In the Affleck version, Michael Knight doesn’t talk.

3> Rewrite KITT as a BMW, working with Herr Matthias Knight.

2> Settle for the Barbie and Ken doll version he videotaped

his beach house.

and the Number 1 Way David Hasselhoff Can Get the “Knight Rider”
Movie Made…

1> Follow the Baywatch formula — give KITT silicone implants and some of those bouncy shocks.

.

Credits:

Selected from 36 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 1, 8 (6th #1)
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 2, 3, 6, 8
(Blockbuster!)
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa — 4, 5
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Needs a new car