The Top 8 Ways Ashton Kutcher
Can Get People to Take Him Seriously

8> Ugly himself up and play a serial-killer prostitute.

7> Move to England, write children’s books and speak with a fake accent.

6> Get Tom Green to return his calls.

5> Use the Butterfly Effect and get us some of those flying cars already.

4> Move up from Demi Moore to Mary Tyler Moore.

3> He’s a multi-millionaire and he’s banging Demi. What was your question again?

2> Punk Osama into coming out of hiding and pump him full of lead.

and the Number 1 Way Ashton Kutcher Can Get People to Take Him
Seriously…

1> Four words: Demi Moore sex tape.

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Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 1 (4th #1)
John English, Orem, UT — 2, 5, 8 (3-picture deal!)
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 3
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 4
William C. Martell, Studio City, CA — 4
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 6
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — List Editor (seriously)