The Top 8 Unknown Ways
to Receive an Academy Award

8> Trade Shelly Winters a jelly donut.

7> Offer free Botox injections to everyone who votes for you.

6> When the winner for best documentary short is announced, just run up on stage — it’s not like anyone will know the difference.

5> Send Jeff Gillooly and a lead pipe over to Meryl Streep’s place.

4> Promise a wardrobe malfunction during your acceptance speech.

3> Full house against Hanks’ pair of threes.

2> Scratch and win at the Hollywood 7-11.

and the Number 1 Unknown Way to Receive an Academy Award…

1> Wait a couple of years, buy Affleck’s at a pawn shop.

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Credits:

Selected from 32 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 1, 8 (1st #1, yippee-kai-yay!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 2, 3
John English, Orem, UT — 4
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 5
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 6
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Award-less List Editor