The Top 9 Things You’ll
Never Hear on Moviefone

9> “Welcome to Moviefone. I’m not wearing pants.”

8> “The movie you selected… ‘Revenge of the Sith’… is a piece of crap. Please select a different movie.”

7> “That’s the sixth movie this week. Try reading a book some time, NASCAR.”

6> “You know, you could wait a month and buy it on DVD for less than the price of two tickets and a jumbo popcorn.”

5> “Press 6 if you thought this was a phone sex line.”

4> “Help! I’m being held captive in a telemarketing sweatshop! To call the police, press 1.”

3> “The 7:30 showing of ‘The Island’ is sold out.”

2> “‘War of the Worlds,’ great. It’s on 4000 freaking screens, genius. Just show up and it’ll start in ten minutes!”

and the Number 1 Thing You’ll Never Hear on Moviefone…

1> “Thank you for calling Moviefone, one of the last great relics of the pre-Internet age. For showtimes, press 1. For instructions on how to send a telegram, press 2. For hot phonograph sales, press 3….”

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Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

John English, Orem, UT — 1, 2 (9th #1)
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 3, 6, 9 (Three-picture deal!)
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 4, 8
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 5, 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Silky Throat