The Top 6 Things Regis Philbin
Will Do with His New-Found Wealth

6> Pay off Letterman’s dental bill, finally settling that old poker debt.

5> Buy NBC, boot Matt Lauer, host Today Show.

4> Remove the part of the brain that remembers Kathie Lee.

3> Just *buy* a damn star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

2> Dump wife, appear on Fox’s “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’s Whore?”

and the Number 1 Thing Regis Philbin Will Do with His New-Found
Wealth…

1> Have himself cryogenically frozen until they find a cure for boring.

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Credits:

Selected from 12 submissions from 4 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jeff Rabinowitz, Civilian — 1, 3, 5 (Hat trick!)
Beth Kujawski, Writer/Voice Talent — 2
Alex Earl, Civilian — 4
Kris Johnson, Boom Operator — 6
Kristian Idol, Writer/Director — Moderator