NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

Angelina Jolie’s lawyer banned journalists
from asking the actress personal questions
at the premiere of her new movie.

The Top 8 Things Celebrities
Won’t Talk About in Interviews

8> Alec Baldwin — How he spent Father’s Day

7> Mel Gibson — Origins of his torture fetish

6> Paris Hilton — Why exactly we should give a damn what happens to her

5> Bob Barker — Whether he himself has been spayed or neutered

4> Chris Kattan — The wisdom of leaving Saturday Night Live so he could have a big movie career

3> Jason Biggs — Paternity suits filed by apple pies

2> Michael Moore — How his movies on social injustice are being edited in a Malaysian sweatshop

and the Number 1 Thing a Celebrity Won’t Talk About in Interviews…

1> George Lucas — “The Star Wars Holiday Special never happened. You may go about your business. Move along.”

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Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

John English, Orem, UT — 1, 2, 3 (Gross points!)
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 4, 8
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 5
Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA — 6
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Day Job? No Comment