The Top 9 Symptoms
of the Hollywood Flu

9> Fevered dreams of grandeur. More than usual.

8> Symptoms drop 40% after the first weekend.

7> Actually, you *don’t* have a brilliant script you just need to get a good producer to read… having used up all the pages in the last three days.

6> You’re sneezing, wheezing, coughing and gasping… but you’re still GORGEOUS, darling!

5> You’re not sure if you’re really sick or just undergoing heroin withdrawal.

4> Your own body is providing the gallons of slime for the chest-burster scene.

3> Your virus has a part-time job waiting tables.

2> The fever won’t go down until you get your 20% on the back end.

and the Number 1 Symptom of the Hollywood Flu…

1> You just puked up a sequel to Carrot Top’s “Chairman of the Board.”

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Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 1 (4th #1)
John English, Orem, UT — 2
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 3
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa — 4, 7
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — 5
Jennifer Ford, Ft. Wayne, IN — 6
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 8
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Script Doctor