NOTE FROM ERIC:

Despite recent heart problems, political scandals,
a string of film flops and a recent motorcycle
accident, Arnold Schwarzenegger will be back as the
indestructible Terminator, in a new film for which he
reportedly will be paid a record $30 million.

The Top 9
Surprises In “Terminator 3″

9> Terminator’s mission inexplicably changes from “Kill Sarah Connor” to “Hey, You Kids, Get Off My Lawn!”

8> New film introduces the Terminator’s Uncle-in-law Teddie, who is made of “Liquid Alcohol.”

7> The Terminator’s origin is depicted using old footage cut from “Hercules In New York.”

6> War-ravaged scenes too disturbing for current political climate, so the new Terminator comes from a future in which people are merely very sarcastic to one another.

5> The Terminator’s new sidekick: The loud-mouthed, wise-cracking cyborg “Phatbot,” played by Chris Tucker.

4> “Ach! John Connuh, wat ah you do-ink? Don’ you know you can sehve da peeple you call a buck o’ two by usink 1-Ehht-Hunnurt- Collect?”

3> We’ve passed the “future” of the first Terminator, so the cyborg is defeated when Sarah Connor points out that time travel hasn’t been invented yet.

2> No, really, that’s not a support truss, it’s armor. Really.

and the Number 1 Surprise In “Terminator 3″…

1> Trademark phrase “I’ll be back!” replaced with “Ouch! My back!”

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Credits:

Selected from 46 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Zachary Brewster-Geisz, Greenbelt, MD — 1, 3
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 1, 9
Eric M. Wakeford, Niagara Falls, ON — 2
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ — 4, 5, 9
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA — 6, 7, 8
Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 7
Eric F. Lipton, Washington, DC — Script Doctor