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The Top 8 Signs You’re
Being Stalked by a Bad Stalker

8> Breaks into your house and cleans the bunny’s cage.

7> Comes up to you and asks for directions to your house and maybe an idea of what you look like.

6> Shoots President Reagan’s gravestone.

5> Wears clogging shoes.

4> Waits to hang up until just *after* the trace has pinpointed his location.

3> Rather than sending a letter every day, sends one that says “If I can’t have you, then nobody else can have you either – infinity!”

2> Breaks into your car, but only to start it and crank up the heat on those chilly mornings.

and the Number 1 Sign You’re Being Stalked by a Bad Stalker…

1> Asks you to spend the next couple of days hanging out in front of his mother’s house because he’s been grounded.

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Credits:

Selected from 41 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 1
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 2
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 3
John English, Orem, UT — 4, 6
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS — 5
Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA — 7
Jennifer Ford, Ft. Wayne, IN — 8
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — I Just Need Mary-Kate to Talk To Me!!