NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

A year ago, publicist-to-the-stars Lizzie Grubman
called the bouncers at a trendy nightclub “white trash”
and then backed her Mercedes into a crowd of people
outside, injuring 16. It took her 11 months
to publicly apologize, right before her trial, in
what looked like a bad high school monologue.
She is now serving two months in prison.

The Top 9 Signs
Your Publicist Is Nuts

9> Insists that you should guest-moderate something called the “Top Five list”.

8> Contact number at top of all press releases is 1-800-YOU SUCK.

7> Thinks the “arrested for child molestation” thing’ll just blow over.

6> That whole “I-may-be-a-lesbian-and-an-alien” deal? Her idea.

5> Backed over SIXTEEN PEOPLE, what the hell else do you need to know??

4> “I’ll take Rip Taylor to block.”

3> Your publicity shots are all fake Internet nudes.

2> Answers every call with “Dateline: Bellevue! My client is carrying Bigfoot’s love-child!”

and the Number 1 Sign Your Publicist Is Nuts…

1> Your 17-city publicity tour? Door-to-door.

.

Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

William Martell, Studio City, CA — 1, 2, 3 (3 pic deal! 13th #1)
Beth Kujawski, Crown Point, IN — 2, 8
Peter Rogers, Louisville, KY — 4, 9
Kris Johnson, Glendale, CA — 5
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 6, 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Simply The BEST Moderator You’ll R