April 20th, 2007



The Top 8 Signs You
Go to Too Many Movies


8> You blink 24 times a second.

7> You constantly wear a welder’s mask so that you see everything in perfect 16:9.

6> The commercials they show before the movie mention you by name.

5> You have a seat in the theater with a custom-fitted ass print.

4> Roger Ebert thinks you should get out of the theater and get some exercise.

3> Your idea of a balanced breakfast is a bowl of Sno-Caps and a 64-ounce glass of Coke.

2> Foreplay consists of telling your wife, “Please turn off your cell phone. No loud talking. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!”

and the Number 1 Sign You Go to Too Many Movies…

1> You’re the reason “Gigli” was able to stay in the Top 10 on the first week.




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Credits:

Selected from 32 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX — 1, 5
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 2, 3, 8 (Three-picture deal!)
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 3, 5, 6 (Three-picture deal!)
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR — 4
Ryan Garcia, Austin, TX — 7
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA — Banner tag
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Down to once or twice a week