August 20th, 2007



NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:
Instead of our regular comedy semi-pros,
today’s list was written by our
subscribers, everyday folks like you.


The Top 8 Signs
There Won’t Be a Sequel
(Part I)


8> The audience skewed older than 15.

7> In the original, the main character is eating onion rings with his family, the guy in the Members Only jacket uses the rest room, and then the screen just goes black. ’cause that kinda ties everything up and leaves no room for a sequel.

6> Let’s see… the ship sank and the boyfriend is a block of ice at the bottom of the ocean. Ain’t much farther to go with that one, Jimbo.

5> The movie studio isn’t buying that a terminator cyborg from the future uses a laser-guided, missile-launching walker.

4> The star has been taken to the mother ship.

3> The entire cast has jointly filed suit to prevent the producer from coming within 150 yards of them.

2> Two thumbs down from the director’s mom.

and the Number 1 Sign There Won’t Be a Sequel…

1> Directed by Alan Smithee, Starring Alan Smithee, Cinematography by Alan Smithee, Catering by Alan Smithee…




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Credits:

Selected from 114 submissions from 31 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 1
Ford Prefect, whereabouts unknown — 2, 8
Mark Raymond, Flint, MI — 3
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 3
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 4
John Newsome, Eastman, GA — 5
Chuck Salerno, Fullerton, CA — 6
Joe Paraschac, Campbell, CA — 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — List #1. Or #2…