NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

They say that if you let a million monkeys
type on a million typewriters for a million years,
you’d eventually get the works of Shakespeare.
We’re not sure about that, but some of the screenplays
we’ve read lately seem a little odd…

The Top 9 Signs the
Script Was Written by a Monkey

9> Unusually devoid of lice and stuck-on bits of food.

8> It stars Steven Seagal, is produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, or its title is “Episode I: The Phantom Menace.”

7> Amy Dolenz stars.

6> Miramax optioned it for $1.5 million and a truckload of bananas.

5> “Arnold surrenders, both hands in the air. But the henchmen fail to see the GUN he holds with his PREHENSILE TAIL…”

4> Unlike most blockbusters, the action sequences require the use of opposable thumbs.

3> The hero picks bugs out of his hair and eats them, but the movie doesn’t star Tom Green.

2> It’s a buddy cop film with Marlee Matlin and Koko.

and the Number 1 Sign the Script Was Written by a Monkey…

1> Let’s just say that Tarzan doesn’t end up with Jane.

.

Credits:

Selected from 27 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Beth Kujawski, Voice Talent — 1, 4, 9 (12th #1, Hat trick!)
Jeff Scherer, Art Director — 2, 5, 8 (Hat trick!)
Marko Peric, Civilian — 3
Wade Kwon, Civilian — 6
William C. Martell, Screenwriter — 7, 8
Kenn McCracken, Comics Editor — 8
Kristian Idol, Writer/Director — Moderator