NOTE FROM ERIC:

As if America hasn’t suffered enough, the
Blockbuster Entertainment Awards, planned
for this April, have been cancelled, due to
“the uncertainty of the times,” according to a
Blockbuster spokesperson.

The Top 9 Repurcussions of
Cancelling the Blockbuster Entertainment Awards

9> Diminished belief in the book of Revelations as signs of the Apocalypse continue to disappear.

8> Jerry O’Connell has to find something else to host or remain workless for another year.

7> Previous Blockbuster Awards ceremonies will be available for rent for those feeling nostalgic.

6> UPN devastated by the loss of a potential 3 share.

5> All would-be participants go back to loitering in front of liquor stores.

4> Outraged fans in the millions will boycott Blockbuster until they agree to put the show back on. Yeah, right!

3> Now, get free award and microwavable popcorn with the purchase of two overnight rentals.

2> Actors actually relieved, not having to deal with the hassle of having their award back to Blockbuster by noon on the 6th day after the show.

and The Number 1 Repurcussion Of Cancelling the Blockbuster
Entertainment Awards…

1> Terrorists around the world rejoice, dance and shout: “They cancelled it! We won! We finally won!”

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Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 1, 4, 6
Craig D. Barker, Livonia, MI — 2
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ — 2
Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA — 3, 9
Douglas Jones, Santa Cruz, CA — 5, 7
Eric M. Wakeford, Niagara Falls, ON — 8
Bonnie Lipton, Washington, DC — Jinglechanger
Eric F. Lipton, Chicago, IL — Script Doctor